They Grow Up Eventually And Then You Don’t Need Sitters

I just realized how lucky I am.  No, I’m not going to go and get all sentimental about my life and all the rainbows and unicorns tossed at me.  Because it’s not.  So I won’t go there.

Let’s talk babysitters, MMMMKAY??

So.  We give birth, after 40 or so weeks of being some sort of human oven.

We spend countless sleepless nights with this little bundle of squirmy joy, pacing, singing quietly and pulling our hair out.

We spend countless days pacing floors trying to figure how to get our babies to stop crying, spitting up, projectile vomiting, etc, while ourselves wishing we could drown in a bottle of wine or twenty.

We go weeks, months and some, years…without shtupping our husbands, wives, significant others because of the bloody goo coming from our nether-regions.

Ages go by without enjoying a date night, movie, dancing…whatever.

Because a)we can’t find a babysitter to save our lives, b)our parents refuse to give up their weekends to watch their first born grandchild, c)there isn’t a single neighborhood kid in a 500 mile radius that we trust with our heart d)all of the above e)other

Then, because we’ve been bored, our bloody goo is cleared up and there is nothing else to do, we finally have sex again.  And shock upon shock, we get knocked up with baby 2.

Rinse, repeat times two.  Then three.  And perhaps…so on.

Well, the years go by.  These babies grow up to toddlers, preschoolers, elementary schoolers and finally…they are 12, 13 and 14.   And they have the biggest mouths on the planet.

After years of struggling to find and keep a reliable sitter and being at their whim, finally…we don’t need one.  We can come and go as we please.  Because our babies…they can watch themselves now.  They can make their own mac and cheese…minus the cleaning up.  They can, begrudgingly, watch the youngest.   Sometimes for money, sometimes because it’s part of their job description as older sibling, they have to do it for free.

WE HAVE A REAL LIFE AGAIN!!  We can be a married couple and go on dates!

We no longer have to be jealous of couples taking walks, while holding hands,  in the evening…child free, because their kids are old enough to be home alone.

We can go out to dinner with another couple, midweek, and throw some pizzas at the kids as we are walking out the door.

And we can say nanny, nanny boo boo to our Twitter friends when we see their tweets about finding sitters and having to cancel plans, etc…

Been there.  Done that.  Hunnies, one day you’ll be excitedly writing the same kind of post!

But trust me, it happens way, way too fast.

You blink.  And poof.  They aren’t babies anymore.

There is almost nothing about being a Mommy that isn’t bittersweet.

Including not having to find a babysitter.